Jake Friendly Friend Humphrey needs to control himself

I’ve put off writing this for ages, because it’s hardly worth it.

And Jake Humphrey – though incredibly annoying – means well, and isn’t a bad person.

But if anything, he’s getting more irritating and more annoying, like the boy who has no friends at school and then suddenly revels in the fact that as an adult, other adults will speak to him at any time.

His tweets are mind-blowingly embarassing.

The one today (which set of this mild rant) was something like ‘only 67 days until F1 and I’ll be in the pit lane ra ra ra’.

But… BBCs behaviour means that there will not be a free to air LIVE F1 RACE until the THIRD race of the season – how many days away is that, Jakey boy?

The male version of Smilie Smilie Carol Smilie can’t help himself.

He also recently said something like ‘good on Tony Fernandes to explain to fans on Twitter, social media has changed our world’

Yes thanks Jake – but sorry what does that have to do with you? Do you feel a compunction to endlessly make these prophet like, sage statements?

When he interviewed Vettel, it was truly painful viewing. He kept saying “savour it, savour it” to Vettel, as though he was some kind of ex-driver who had experienced anything in life in order to tell a new world champion how to deal with the success.

Again, nothing strongly *against* Jake here, he’s not a bad person — but really, he needs to control himself, and instead indulge in a bit of self-analysis related to the fact that a thought does not always need to be said.

The political correctness grates also.

Every subject needs his brush of PC BBC blather on it.

A tweet about standing at football stadiums was something like ‘obviously safety comes first but it is good to stand at football’.

Something about cars on roads started with praising seatbelts and their necessity.

YES Jake, we do realise that safety and health & safety and generally being a caring sharing all-round good egg is part and parcel of your Blue Peter persona, but a % of your audience are adults, and we don’t need to be patronised with your overly nerdy ‘I’m alright Jake’-isms.

Eddie Jordan brings something ‘new’ to the table of F1 TV reporting, but we can see with our eyes. We do not need to feel as though you are incessantly shoving fun down our throats in order to make some kind of comedy foie gras with our smirk-bloated livers.

We know that you two and DC are matey mates – but we don’t care. Your level of intense friendship doesn’t assist us in enjoying sporting coverage.

Your japey gapey clown-throwing-cream-pie-type-fun overdoses don’t tell us more about the experience of being at a Formula 1 race.

We don’t need reminding that you believe you are some form of literal spiritual-life-guru advice-giver, always using any excuse for a patriotic comment – as if you think that ‘any patriotic comment is a good comment’ – it is not.

Calm down the verbal diarrhoea and focus on quality, not quantity.

No one has to ‘try’ to be best mates with all of their viewers – just cover the sport and take a slice of humble pie when interviewing champion Formula 1 drivers rather than assuming any form of level – or advice-giving – status.

There.

 

 

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