Ultra-wanky corporate McLaren video

I am sorry to the person who joined my Twitter and then spammed me this video. ‘Steve’ something – I guess you are just a chap trying to make a go of pushing this video out for some reason (work for Johnnie Walker?), but it is so, so, wanky. Wanktastic.

 

Well will companies learn? We are not stupid.

1) Jenson looks so very uncomfortable doing these things. ‘The cameras flashed, it was a special moment’. It’s so completely unconvincing, because it’s just clear that JB hates doing these sorts of things, has no idea what to say, and feels like a pillock saying it. He clearly does nto care, and who blames him?

He has more important things to do than talk shite about how ‘fun’ it is.

2) saying there are “parties” won’t make us knuckle-dragging mouth-breathers go “oohhh… parties..!!!” Wow, people are having parties there!”

3) using a complete cunt of a man who says “there are billionaires here, it’s so staggering how smooth my skin is and how suave I can be” will turn potential consumers AWAY from Johnnie Walker

4) Dawn Yang, ‘celebrity blogger’, looks like a complete soul-less twat of a woman who is a hanger-on, a groupie wannabe, and a complete ass of a person. Wow, there is ‘vibrancy’ and more ‘parties’. Celebwity la! Velly exciting la!

 

Now I’m rushing out to buy an overly=priced bottle of whisky just because the advert made me feel like if I – one of the ‘have nots’ – buy a bottle of the same liquid that celebwities – the ‘haves’ – drink, I will somehow be part of their world, if only for a few sips.

Yes, us consumers are really just that easily swayed.

Morons.

 

 

 

Advertisements

One Response to Ultra-wanky corporate McLaren video

  1. f1addicted says:

    So, what should Johnnie Walker do, rather than this complete piece of ass-custard thast they have cringingly put together?

    1) don’t ask drivers stupid questions, or non-questions, so they feel forced to make some pseudo-fun, PR-friendly piece of vocal mouth-turd answer, that makes even a solo viewer feel embarassed by just watching it.

    2) don’t allude to the fact that it is an option for people to drink Johnnie Walker at a *party*, as if we really feel that in buying your product, we are somehow magically buying into the fun of owning a Ferrari and being a billionaire who can screw any celebrity blogger just by waving our ‘black AmEx’ card or such.

    3) do use the actual SPORT that you are covering. You know those great sports Youtube videos featuring people doing AMAZING things with American footballs, or ‘soccer’ footballs, or other kinds of sporting equipment? They make the viewer think ‘WOW’, and then pass it on to their friends. American football stars are the best example of such ads.

    4) focus on letting the drivers really say what they want to say, or do what they want to do – e.g. getting in a car and showing off something special for the cameras.

    5) don’t desperately push it out on Twitter. See the Youtube videos of Old Spice. They were passed around because they were (1) so new (2) so funny (3) featuring amazing video FX.

    There.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: